Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday morning, August 12, 2013 at 07:25

Day 36

Scene from August 12, 2006 - Left to right: Dad, Mom, Kimberly and Sharl
Today is Kimberly & Sharl's 7th wedding anniversary. At times it is hard for me to believe that seven years have passed since their wedding. 

Today is also Mrs. Coats' 86th birthday and she still seems to be going as strong as ever. I know this is not really the situation, she has her own heart and health problems, but she does enjoy life anyway.

Tomorrow will mark my mother's 79th birthday and I am certain that she will be passing that day alone, completely unaware that the day is her birthday. Dad may or may not remember but he is unable to go to visit. Alan will not be able to go and I do not expect that Kathy is able to make a visit in the middle of the week. Most likely Ted will not remember and I am unable to travel very far right now. We cannot even call and talk to Mom because she is too far gone to understand what a telephone call is. Alzheimer's Disease is a horrible disease! What else can I say or write about that affliction that is like a curse?

As I write, I wonder if Dad is now headed down that same road - it is as if he does not really care about life and living anymore. I shall not criticize him because I do not know what pain and misery he has to live with and live through each day.

I can very easily say that life is not fair so far as my parents are concerned, but I can also look back over the years that God has given me and then see that God has truly cared for my parents. God has always provided for their needs, even at this time through their afflictions these last years.

"The eyes of all look to thee, and thou givest them their food in due season. Thou openest thy hand, thou satisfiest the desire of every living thing.
(Psalm 145: 15-16)

I cannot ignore or deny the truth of God's word. The evidence is always before me no matter what the circumstances are.

Five weeks ago this Monday I woke up in the Cardiac Care Unit at the hospital and I felt okay - not perfect - but I was not in pain really. I was alone and lying in bed, wondering what my future would be. I had survived the first night and the surgery had cleared the blockage in my artery. I was also aware that God had spared me and had allowed me to see the daylight of a new day dawning. I was filled with gratitude - a profound feeling that I had not known or remembered since reading Kie's letter telling me that she would marry me - that Saturday in November 1978 was a long time ago.

Anyway, that Monday five weeks ago I was able to get up and out of bed and sit in the chair. Later that day I was also able to go to the bathroom on my own. This may not seem like anything to a healthy person, but I was able to do these without pain or difficulty in spite of my heart attack and stent surgery less than 24 hours earlier. I was truly astonished by how well I was feeling - and all that was accomplished without pain medications. God had really restored me; not just let me live. Again, I do not know how to thank God for his mercy - I am incapable of thanking God. This really bothers me. I am incapable of any more than using my mouth to say thank you. God's grace was given because of his love and compassion upon me - there is no other reason that I can claim or state.

On Saturday Kie and I spent several hours riding on the Lakeshore GO Trains. This is the so-called "longest" activity I have done since July 07. And all went well! We started at Clarkson and travelled to Union. After some walking around and going up and down some flights of stairs, we boarded another train and rode to Aldershot. We turned back there, rode to Clarkson and then drove home. We were gone about four and a haff hours and I was okay - no problems on the stairs or with walking around. I did use the elevator at a few locations when we were pressed for time. I did enjoy riding the trains - after all, we had watched and photographed trains at Ellengale Park all week - and again Saturday and Sunday evenings.

Yesterday we went to church, to the Meeting House. Tim and Anita called and invited us to go with them. Afterward we stopped in at David's new home and met up with Kimberly, Kiera and Jonah. Sharl stayed at home. Ben and Catherine came over later. 

August 11, 2013, relaxing outside on the deck at David's new home. Left to right: Ben, David and the Oddblock Station Agent

The one big news even that I should have written about at first I almost forgot - Winnie told us that she is pregnant! She tested positive on the test - no studying either! I am sure that David and Winnie are excited about this news. I am hoping that all will go well for them and that they will become parents. I am also hoping to still be around to see the new addition to our family. All we can do is hope and trust in the God of Israel, the God who gives us life and gives us each day that comes.

In a few moments I shall pause.  I am wondering about what to have for breakfast but I am not very hungry right now. I haven't even got washed yet. I am pondering today and what to do with these hours that are before me. Can I go out and cut the grass in the front? Or should I just leave that for Kie to do? I don't like leaving the work for her to do. I'll have to think carefully before doing anything unusual or too strenuous. I may feel okay but I truly do not know if I am okay inside - but I think I'm getting there!

The Oddblock Station Agent

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