Kie has already left for work and I am just up out of bed. I feel a bit sleepy but I was awake at 05:30 and had to get up. I am grateful to see the start of another day.
"And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?"
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."
I have been thinking about these two verses because I have experienced some anxiety these last two days. There were a few instances when I did not feel 100% well and I was feeling some slight discomfort and sensations inside my chest and neck. Of course I automatically wonder if more troubles are ahead. The worrying does not change anything or make the discomfort go away. Reality is that I do have a heart problem and I am on a long road to recovery from the heart attack. I am no different from anyone else going through the same.
In front of me as I write is a collection of pill bottles and packages. These were not here a month ago. Now I have to take these medications and assume that they will do me some good as I try to recover. Life cannot go back to the way it was.
God has restored me from the edge of death - why am I fearful about the next minute? That same God who gave my life back to me will also uphold me. I have no guarantee for tomorrow or the next day after, but I have faith that God has granted me more time here before he does take me away. I do not want to live in fear of tomorrow. I want to live in hope and gratitude for today, and for every extra day I have been given.
I read through the last chapters of John, about Jesus' last days and hours here on earth. I do not understand the injustice of that time, but I also realize that I do not understand the injustices of the time I live in. I am no different from those who crucified him. I am no better and no different. I have hope though and only because of God's grace, and not because of anything I have said or done.
Yesterday I did a small amount of woodworking in the shed but I did not use any power tools. I did some sanding by hand, did some filling with wood filler, and then later did some more sanding by hand. After that I took all those items into the basement, coated them with linseed oil and then wiped them down. Maybe later today I shall go and check on those and see if they are finished.
Like my heart did, everything else in life stopped so far as I was concerned. In death, everything about us ends when our life ends. That is reality.
Anyway, I am looking forward to resuming woodwork and making more blocks and sawdust. I do not know for what purpose, but I shall be grateful to continue if I can continue. Life is truly an amazing gift from God, and being able to do what we can do is a wonder. I praise the God of Israel with thanksgiving and gratitude - and this I know is right!
I have since washed up, eaten breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. Now I am sitting in the back on the deck and enjoying the cool of the morning with a cup of tea.
Earlier, I looked back at what I wrote in the first entry of this new volume, back on July 02. I was surprised to re-read that verse I had quoted, Psalm 4:8. My writing on that day, like every day when I write, only reflected what I was thinking and feeling at that particular time. I was surprised that I chose that verse and wrote what I wrote - now that I can look back and see what happened afterward. God truly did let me dwell in safety when I lay down and slept.
Today is a nice, comfortable, sunny day - really just one of those beautiful summer days. The weather forecast calls for clouds later and then some rain. That is good too. All that grows needs water. After tonight, the rain is supposed to pass and give way to comfortable weather for all 3 days of this holiday weekend. I don't really know what tomorrow will bring but a beautiful weekend will be good.
I am not sure what I shall do today - or should do today, but I shall be mindful of God's favour, that he has let me see this day and be a part of it.
The Oddblock Station Agent