Tuesday, August 5, 2014

No Fool Like An Old Fool

"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap."
(Galatians 6:7)

This item is something that I found during the past weekend when I was sorting through old papers to dispose of. I know this handmade gift had to do with Father's Day and I wish I could recall what year it was. Perhaps 24 or 25 years ago; all I know now is that it was a long time ago.

Kimberly made this card for me before she reached her teen years. I do not know how many hours she spent to make this, but I do sort of recall how long I looked at this when she proudly gave it to me; probably 30 to 60 impatient seconds and without giving this gift much thought. 

What a fool I was!!

Front cover

I was a blind fool and did not recognize what was truly important in life. I was too caught up in work, trying to survive in a job I hated, living in a city I did not like and selfishly feeling sorry for myself believing that life was unfair. 

What a fool I was!!

And maybe I am still that fool.

I wish that I had taken more time to look at this thoughtful creation when it was new. I wish I had taken the time to carefully read what she had written when her thoughts were fresh. I wish I had given some genuine thought into how many hours Kimberly spent making this when she could have been watching TV instead. I wish I had said a meaningful, heartfelt thank you rather than simply being polite and then putting this aside for a quarter of a century.

Inside left

In spite of what was written here, I should have known what was important in life, given Kimberly a hug and told her that I love her, instead of being distracted, disinterested and doing nothing. 

Oh, what a useless father I was! Those years are gone and I shall no longer see creations like this nor am I likely to. 

Just yesterday, Kie said something to David about the wooden crates I make. Not knowing anything about this rediscovered card and subject, Kie said that only my children have no interest in the things I make. One day later I now know and understand the reason - they have learned to respond to me exactly as they were taught, which now I admit was the wrong way.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
(Proverbs 22:5)

Now that Kimberly and David are married adults and have their own young children, I truly wish that they shall be better and wiser parents than I was. Truly I desire that they do not make the same mistakes that I made.

Only now do I understand some of the advice that my mother gave me 25 or 26 years ago concerning my relationship with Kimberly and David. At the time I was annoyed and thought Mom was meddling. I was wrong! Again, I truly wished that I had attentively listened to her wisdom and could today hear her repeat those words to me again. She can't and I can't. Although Mom is still alive, the ravages of that hated Alzheimer's Disease robs both of us of that.

Inside right

The time that God gives us with our family, with friends, with people, and for our lifespan itself is a gift; be warned though, that time given to us here is not infinite.

The Oddblock Station Agent

Addendum, August 21, 2014

One of Grandma's photos: David and Kimberly in spring 1989 when Grandma and Grandpa came to visit.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing this memory and your thoughts. For the record, you were never a bad father. I wish you could have had the courage to share your true feelings and emotions with us. Not for us only but for yourself. I think expressing your happy feelings out loud would have made you happier. I tell Jonah and Kiera that I love them all the time not because they want to hear it but because I can't help but tell them. Life is too short to hold back the things you want to say. And I do like the things you make and should probably appreciate them more! xo